I Like Women

I like women.

Now before I come across sounding like a creep let me explain myself.  I don't lurk behind trees, I don't own binoculers, I don't send creepy messages, and I don't troll the dark areas of the internet.  That's just not me...and it's not that I hate guys, heck I am one and proud of it! I like to belch, I like hockey, I like tools, and I don't mind going to car shows. But on the whole I've always been able to communicate with the female species much better than their physically superior counterparts.  Perhaps chalk it up to being predominantly raised by my mom who know.  It was that way in school and its the same now. I won't go into all the details and the physcology of it all, it just is what it is.

I got a phone call a few months ago asking if I wanted to participate in a "home show" with my "Natural Hot Tub Solution". The target audience was women, and all the product and booths were geared towards that market!  I gave it some thought and signed up for an 8x8 and voila, I was in! Now I've done these shows in the past with varied results. I'm not big on them, and in some ways shy by nature so I did enter with a hint of trepidation.  The date drew nearer and felt myself growing less confident every day.  I had good inventory, decent knowledge, a nice display in mind, gift baskets, chocolates, all ingredients garunteed to bring success!  What I lacked in self confidence I certainly had in all the other stuff! Friends and family garunteed success. I verbally agreed, but inwardly thought they were all of their rockers.....this wouldnt be as easy as other thought.

I was way too early for booth set up, in fact i had to be one of the first. I'm just like that, hate last minute stuff. I want to be prepared.  It did help my confidence some however, and I was more than prepared. The booth was laid out very nice. I was prepared to show my wares and even pre-purchased 100 plastic bags for sales, (I ended up selling not a single bottle) and chocolates, (I ran out of them).

The night of the show, and I was ready. New pressed yellow shirt, yup yellow,.....I'm a big dude and black would be intimidating...see? I know this stuff.  Now there are several different views as how to work these shows. Option 1 is to simply stand back and let the people insepct your wares and dive on them the minute you see a pulse. Option 2 is to stand in the aisle and wave them to your booth like your directing traffic, and option 3 is to just be yourself and have some fun. Unfortunatley it took me 90% of the show to discover option number.

I was ashamed of myself. For the good part of 2 nights I danced around like an idiot looking like a cheaper version of Jerry Springer, if thats at all possible, or some stadium hot dog vendor yelling in the stands, "Spa Solution!, get yer Spa Solution right here". Not one sale, and when one person did finally come to see what all the hubub was about they promptly left becuase I tripped all over myself trying to get my speech out. "Yes, the solution is great for your tub when you mix it into your skin, but first you need to purge yourself for 7 days...." Oh dear.....I was self imploding. And those poor teen girls who just stopped by to enter the draw or have a chocolate to only have some guy leap off his stool and launch himself at them and ask "hey, do your parents own a hot tub"? What a disaster, and all my own fault.  Seems I know "jack all" about women....

In the end though, I'm thankful for some good advice handed to me for free before the end of the show. Someone told me, "settle down, be natural, you're trying way to hard!" This turned out to be good advice. A few deep breaths and I began to settle into my own skin.  I got into the groove and got on a lot better. Back into my comfort zone, I started to show some progress. Still no sales, but I've learned over time that that is a building a process. 

I wasn't dissapointed, and I in the end I got to talk to a lot of women